Why start another blog on race?

But really, why?

Isn’t the conversation on race done already? With all the books and blogs out there, we must have said everything that needs to be said. We don’t need to start another blog on race, right?

If you feel this way, I hear you. 

But when I step outside or open the news, it seems clear to me that we (including me!) still need help. To name a few things: 

• white Christian nationalism remains prominent in the US; 
• Black and Brown people are imprisoned disproportionately; 
• and much of the nation’s wealth is concentrated in the pockets of white men.

Why I hesitate

Still, I have some personal reasons to not start a blog on race. I kind of feel like I did at my first swim meet (photographed above). In that moment, I was full of uncertainty. So much so that my slouched posture looked like a question mark.

Let me name just a few doubts that have been rumbling around in my head:

• Impostor syndrome. Considering my majority-European ancestry and how I just started caring about race in 2017, part of me feels unqualified to write about race because of my life experiences and lack of experiences.
• I don’t have everything figured out. There is still so much I don’t know about race in the United States. Most of the time, I don’t even know how to satisfactorily describe my own racial identity. Certainly there are others who are more qualified from their academic and/or life experience.
• Too many cooks in the kitchen. Aren’t enough people talking about this already? It seems like there’s no shortage of opinions on race. Many people have already written, spoken, and screamed about race, so it’s easy to feel as though my voice may get lost in the crowd or just get in the way.

Why I should start

But on the other hand, there are many reasons I should start this blog.

• My European ancestors. Yes, many of my ancestors come from Ireland, Scotland, Cornwall, and Germany. After seeing that picture of me, it doesn’t take a race-detective to realize that I have a sizable chunk of European ancestry. But the more I learn about the stories of these northwestern Europeans, the more I realize we sacrificed much of who we were to assimilate into whiteness. While we’ve tried to convince ourselves that white supremacy is working for us, we’ve missed how we’ve abandoned the cultures and places that shaped us for generations.
• My Asian ancestors. I also have ancestors from China and India. Roughly half of my family is culturally Hawaiian (and I currently live in Hawai’i). They deal with the effects of white supremacy every day. Because of all these ancestors I see everything from multiple angles. All of these stories have shaped me, and they continue to mold me every day.
• We all need healing. I see how white people’s need for white supremacy dehumanizes communities of color and white communities. I have white family members who have vocalized both racist remarks and distant dreams of living differently. I also have multiracial family who simply want white people to stop harming them and their land and to make amends.
• Restored family. I want to see my family whole. I want the divisions to be dismantled, and I want to see nothing less than true solidarity. If my family can find healing like this, I think others can too.

The pain of starting

Starting anything is hard, though. 

If you’re anything like me, you’ll know the excruciating pain of sending half-baked thoughts into the world. It feels so vulnerable. This vulnerability opens me to critique from friends, family, and strangers. I might look ignorant to people of color. I might come across as arrogant to white people. I might seem narrow-minded to feminists and queer people. 

Despite all that, maybe a half-baked blog post is better than one that stays in my head forever. And maybe imperfect thoughts can start conversations that go beyond perfection and into honesty. 

Looking back at the young, uncertain Austin at his first swim meet, I wonder what would’ve happened if I decided to step down. To not dive in. I’m not sure. All I know is that I did dive in despite my fears, and I ended up becoming a solid athlete after 11 years of keeping at it. So that’s what I’m going to do with this blog. Fears and all, this post is me diving in.

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What to expect

So, what should you expect?

As a practitioner and PhD student in intercultural studies, this space will allow me to publicly process what I’m learning and wrestling with. Some of the posts will be reflections on race, culture, and life as I go about my life and notice things. Others will be more informative, introducing readers to sources that I’ve found helpful in my research on race. 

With each post I hope to start conversations, not end them. Some will feel enlightening, strange, or convicting. Some will bring out emotions in you and me that neither of us expect. Regardless of how we’re feeling, though, I hope the comments section will provide a space for us all to dialogue together. In return for my vulnerability, I ask that you fill your comments with curiosity, compassion, and honesty. And when I inevitably make a mistake, please let me know!

I really look forward to engaging with you all as I share my reflections on race, culture, and life. 

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Comment below!

Do you have a hard time starting new projects? If so, what helps you get started? If not, what advice do you have for the rest of us?